Home Schooling, A Good Idea or Not
Wednesday, March 24th, 2010Sometimes I wonder if it is better to home school or not. Any ideas? We would love to hear them and your thoughts on home schooling an autistic child, or any child for that matter.
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Archive for the ‘Coping’ Category
Discipline – Be Clear, Be Firm, Be Consistent
Friday, June 20th, 2008by: Helen Williams
Children learn best by being given clear, firm and consistent direction from parents who are clear, firm and consistent in their approach.
How to Discipline Children by Being Clear:
Firstly find and maintain clarity within yourself and then follow through on simple, clear instructions. Clarify for your self what being clear means.
It is about being plain, obvious, and understandable in a clear, short sentence that explains exactly what you mean.
It isn’t about maybe this or maybe that.
Often parents have no idea that they chop and change their minds within minutes. To become clear about your own patterns of behavior, observe yourself and ask for your partner’s help in this.
“We are going to tidy up your toys in five minutes”, is clear and direct. Follow this with,
“Please help me tidy up your toys now” and it means just that.
Be firm with yourself about this. It doesn’t mean soon, or later, but now.
I have seen parents give out this simple instruction, then become distracted themselves by a television program, conversation or magazine. What their children observe is parents saying one thing and doing another and this gives a much distorted message. Multiplied over many times each day, is it any wonder that children cease to follow simple instructions?
How to Discipline Children by Being Firm:
Firstly find and maintain firmness for yourself and then follow through with firm clear directions in a firm, clear tone.
Clarify for your self what being firm means.
To be firm is to be certain, definite, and determined. It is also being loving, kind and calm.
It means saying no and meaning no, or saying yes and meaning yes and sticking to it. It’s about now being now. How often does your no become perhaps, later, maybe giving in, next time, soon, or alright then? This is a very common fault in how to discipline children and again it leads to numerous mixed messages for children.
Resolve within yourself and with your partner’s help to ascertain how often you are both easily swayed into changing your decisions. Are you allowing your children to manipulate you? Imagine how simple your life will become when you are clear and firm within yourself.
It is every child’s right to KNOW they can trust their parent’s boundaries. So firstly, become firm with your own boundaries and then apply this to your parenting discipline.
“It is bedtime, (bath time, meal time) in five minutes” is a clear direction. Now follow through on this.
Giving the direction in a calm, clear, firm tone of voice helps your children to understand that you mean what you say. Being firm is about being in control of both yourself and the situation.
How to Discipline Children by Being Consistent:
Firstly find and maintain consistency for yourself and then follow through with a firm, clear, consistent approach.
Clarify for yourself what being consistent means.
To be consistent is to be reliable, dependable and constant.
These words immediately convey comfort don’t they?
Let’s look at the opposite of being consistent. Contradictory, unpredictable, changeable. That’s definitely lacking in comfort and safety.
So how do you want to be seen by your children?
To begin with it can seem quite time consuming to concentrate on clear, firm, consistent guidelines. Be aware that this is very true. It takes concentrated effort and time to change old habits to new ones, but if you maintain consistency, you will be very surprised how quickly new patterns of behavior are formed.
Parenting Discipline In Summary: With parenting discipline we are teaching our children how to have self control, self discipline and to become self reliant, so they are able to make good choices for themselves.
The only way children can learn to do this is by being given the opportunities for this learning.
This means not over protecting them, or doing everything for them, but maximizing their opportunities to learn through personal experience and observation, even when this means making mistakes.
Can you see the opportunities here to change some of your own patterns of behavior into superior ones?
Clear, firm, consistent parenting is quality parenting. You learn to trust your own responses and your children are surrounded by your loving constancy.
This is the recipe for creating a happy, well adjusted family.
About The Author
Helen Williams
Editor Consistent Parenting Advice.com
Celebrity, Scmelebrity
Thursday, June 12th, 2008Where as I appreciate any and most attention Autism receives, I feel a bit sickened by the fact that celebrity’;s seem to be leanding their names solely for the purpose of publicity.
Jenny is cool, but her book talks about she is able to afford the therapy’s that most of us only dream of or mortgage our homes for. the therapy’s she mentions in the book are not hers, they are those of Berdard and Tomatis. Deidre Imus was a big factor in passing the Combating Autism Act, which is a lame act of empty promises. Where is she now? Robert Kennedy, now I was shocked to see how much attention he gets for helping Autism get reserach dollars, I thought he was an enviormentalist? And what is President Bill; Clintoln doing rasing money for children in far off lands, most of which wil never even see the dollasr raised when 1 in 150 children in the US are diagnosed with Autism, shame on you Bill! I don’t know, maybe I am wrong here and maybe, just maybe getting celebrity endorsement is better than none, but what have we gained since Autism is such a celebrity cause? A few best sellers or rehashed gobblee goop?
This is not a part time thing here, this is a life long condition and for most finanacial burden. What do we have to do, go on TV and get sponsors for individual families here in the states? We need insurance reforms like we see taking place in a few states like New Jersey, we need the medical community to rally here. Autism is horrible and the numbers climb ever day, why is it not being treated as an epidemic, but rather as a celebrity attention grabber!!?? What are your thoughts. Please share them and lets take the bull by the horns ourselves and Unlock Autism.
Take Care of Yourself
Monday, June 9th, 2008It’s kind of like being on a plane, the flight attendant tells everyone in the event of an emergency … if due to a sudden drop in cabin pressure and the air mask drops, to put your mask on first so that you can assist your child and others. It carries through to taking care of someone like an Autistic Child.
Lets face it, a parent of a special needs child needs to be so much more than Special, we need to be Super, at all times and at all things. Friends are a gasp to hear of what a special needs family has to endure in order to get their kid in their home school district. Even the most basic of things in life that are taken for granted can be huge challenges. We just want our children to have the opportunity to cash in on a long and productive life.
So lets keep in mind, if we as Parents don’t take care of ourselves, we won’t be able to adequately take care of the people who are most important in our lives, for very long.
So make it a point to enjoy your life- including your physical and mental health. Create and make time to rejuvenate and replenish your mind, body and spirit. Make and go to that long overdue doctors appointment for yourself , take an hour per day to read, a day per month to Spa, a night out with friends, a weekend escape- whatever it is, do it and be strong for your kids.
Being on top of your game here means more than love, caring and understanding. Its staying healthy and wise and up with things in the move.
So make that commitment to yourself and the quality of your goodness and care will shine.
Here is a site you can look for travel ideas. ExplorerPod.com.
Health, Spiritual and Wellness try MorningCoach.com
A link to Pass Time Google Maps. Check out your house for a new perspective.
Some great tunes and channels. DeadShowPodcast.com
Seriously, do something for yourself today, so you can continue to take care of your kids tomorrow.
Share Your Wisdom
Tuesday, May 27th, 2008We could use a hand in finding material to share with others like you. If you have an experiences or know of other great resources for information, Please leave some comments or write to us at info@unlockautism.com This site is for us all. We are trying to direct you to pertinent information about Autism. Success stories and information about therapy’s and diets which helped or those which didn’t. Keep in mind, not all therapy’s will work for all. Autistic people are individuals in the truest sense of the word, with loving and caring families trying to unlock autism and let that person out.
If we can gather enough stats and information, perhaps we can help others. For us personally, Its been a whole lot of Love, Therapy’s and at times Snake Oil. Whats worked for us has been, ABA, Signing Time, Auditory Integration and Omega’s plus the usual OT, PT and Speech. But also encouraging more social engagement.
All I know is that we as parents know what works and what doesn’t, lets help those who are just discovering Autism. Let us help each other from being fooled by the latest and greatest therapy’s promising miracle and instant cures.
If you are interested in getting involved with UnlockAutism.com, let us know and share your wisdom.
Coping with Autsim
Friday, May 2nd, 2008Coping skills
Raising a child with autism can be physically exhausting and emotionally draining. These ideas may help:
* Find a team of trusted professionals. You’ll need to make important decisions about your child’s education and treatment. Find a team of teachers and therapists who can help evaluate the options in your area and explain the federal regulations regarding children with disabilities. Make sure this team includes a case manager or service coordinator, who can help access financial services and government programs.
* Take time for yourself and other family members. Caring for a child with autism can be a round-the-clock job that puts stress on your marriage and your whole family. To avoid burnout, take time out to relax, exercise or enjoy your favorite activities. Try to schedule one-on-one time with your other children and plan date nights with your spouse — even if it’s just watching a movie together after the children go to bed.
* Seek out other families of autistic children. Other families struggling with the challenges of autism can be a source of useful advice. Many communities have support groups for parents and siblings of children with autism.
* Learn about the disorder. There are many myths and misconceptions about autism. Learning the truth can help you better understand your child and his or her attempts to communicate. With time, you’ll likely be rewarded by seeing your child grow and learn and even show affection — in his or her own way.
Source: www.mayoclinic.com
